My Online Experiment For June

When keen poker players say they are "done" with online poker, you just know this aint true. Like little fishes slithering back for more crumbs, we ALWAYS come crawling back because the game just has us by the balls. It could be a few days, a few weeks or a few months but we always come back. Unfortunately this is my disease and my illness as well. I will, once again, be making a deposit into my PKR account but let me explain the deal behind this latest foray.

On Monday, I return to the treadmill for the last 7 weeks of the academic year. The reward will come at the end where I'll get a 6 week summer break, including my first trip to Las Vegas - Hurrah! During the 7 weeks of work, I think it fair to say that the bright lights of Vegas will cross my mind from time to time. To occupy myself through this waiting process, I've decided to try a little experiment involving online poker.

Now presently, this year, I am down at the online game to the tune of £440. Horrible, nasty, awful. I really want this to be rectified. The aim is to try to get this figure back to break-even with some solid play at the $0.25/$0.50 cash games over the month of June. I don't really want to rush this process and I'm not going to put a time-limit on it (don't expect a hand-count of more than 5K) but if I can start the repair process over the month of June with the occasional session and gradually wipe this deficit away, then I'll feel even better about life.

Now at the moment it's a beautiful day, so what I'm going to do is go out for a walk and take the recycling to the local park. I'm going to take my copy of "Don't Listen to Phil Hellmuth" - no, I'm not going to throw it in with the recycling as well - and sit in my local pub garden for a beer and a good read. I'll also consider how much to actually place in my PKR account for this latest online dabble of mine and then let you know the details in a postcript note...

P.S. ...There, I'm back. I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. Ok, so I've put in $1021 which was £640. If I were to withdraw that I'd get around £600 so for the purpose of the blog I'm going to call it a round £600.

LET THE BATTLES COMMENCE!! 
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PPS. Ok, so maybe I'll play just a little $0.50/$1 as well. 

Live Session #34 (A Well Deserved Loss)

Yesterday, after a short break-even £1/£1 cash game session at The Fox, I went right on ahead and entered their 7PM £33 donkament. (If you were there - I was the buffoon wearing the white "I Love London" sunglasses.) With a few beers sunk through the evening and a large amount of luck (at one point I knocked out two players after going all-in, early position, with 7 2, getting two callers, hitting two pair on the river and cracking AA along with the other villain's hand) I ended up on the final table but was out in 10th. Luckily we made a deal beforehand to take £20 from 1st and £10 from the 2nd place spot for the bubble boy, i.e. me, and I got my money back.

The exit hand was poorly played on my part (called the all-in button raise, with a small stack, in the small blind with A 5 - and saw the villain flip over A Q) and I think I really could have found a better spot. All this should have sent out warning bells but I ignored the voice saying "go home" and trotted off to the Golden Nugget to place the £5 chip on blackjack. I won that and decided to cash out the three £5 chips as they were a bit bulky in my wallet. Unfortunately, this put me in the zone to try to win more money and so after a kebab in Leicester Square - and with a few ex-students spotting me and then trying to sell me some pot(!) it was off to The Empire to try to win some pots of the other variety!!

With the time at about 1:30AM and now feeling a little tired from the alcohol, this was not the best thing to do. I wasn't entirely drunk but very groggy and certainly not on my A game. The players were certainly good enough for me not to be able to weave any sort of magic and I really should have left early doors. But no, the card-dead session ran for the entire two hours or so that I was there and I left £110 down. The thing is, with the standard of cards and players being what they were, I don't think I would have done that well stone-cold sober either so I'm not too despondent about it - but I still reckon I deserved the loss for turning up at The Empire worse for wear in the first place.

Once again, the painful wait for the night-bus did my head in. At that time of night, after you've had a few - and especially after a losing session - the only thing on your mind is your bed, and 45 minute waits for buses just seem interminable. When the bus finally arrived I actually managed to find a seat and I was able to curl up and doze off for 45 minutes. My head must have hit the pillow at bloody 5 o'clock in the bloody morning!!

Maybe I should take a break from the tables for the rest of the weekend.

What A Week That Was...

...and still it goes on. Almost exactly to the hour, this time last week, I was in a great mood because I was looking forward to a whole week off work. Now, after some great poker sessions and just a little bit richer in the pocket, and possibly in spirit as well, I'm looking out the window on this fresh Friday afternoon at a beautiful sunny day. It's the start of the weekend and there's only one thing I'm thinking of doing this evening boys and girls. I wonder if you can guess what it is? That's right; I'm going into town to play me some higgledy-piggledy-pokerington-aploppy-plop-plop. (Right! Stop that, it's silly!!)

No, but seriously, I'll be playing some poker. As always I'm not fully decided on where to go but after all this good fortune I've been having recently I'm thinking of getting just a bit tipsy and going for a silly-tiddly session at The Fox and their £33 donk freeze-out tournament. However, as always, early plans don't always tie in with reality and I could easily end up at The Empire, Vic or Golden Nugget. I must be careful though - I certainly don't want to end up wasted and £400 worse off! (Oh, I'll need to throw a £5 chip on the blackjack table at some point as well.)

NOW LET'S DO THIS!!!!   

Don't Play Like The Pros

I have to admit it, I'd love to lead the lifestyle of the poker pro no doubt about it. The independent way of life, the trips to pleasant places to play more poker and the not having to answer to the boss all appeal to me, as does lying in bed whenever I want and putting in the hours I choose. The thing is, unless you bink a big one or are handsomely sponsored you generally have to be fairly consistent with bringing in the profits. It's the insecurity of playing through a bad spell that would probably do my head in. Yeh, I guess I could chuck the job in, claim the dole and use my savings to tackle the daily grind at The Empire or The Vic or whatever but that's hardly living the high life. Nope, I'll stick with the more rewarding task of teaching English for the time being thank you very much.

Now the thing is, I do think that there are a few myths that the pros and so-called experts try to sell to the masses that may be a fine way for them of going about their business but which are unsuitable for the recreational or amateur player. The main thing to remember is that your typical poker pro has A HUGE BANKROLL used for protection more than anything else. Regardless of whether we amateur players have money or not, for whatever reason, we choose to bring smaller bankrolls to the game than our fat-wallet wielding counterparts. This is by far the most significant difference between the amateur player and the pro and is, not surprisingly, a major factor that's often ignored when it comes to giving general advice.

The right way of playing and approaching poker has as many variables as there are players but in the style of the poker book I'm reading at present, "Don't Listen To Phil Hellmuth" by Dusty McSchmidt, I give you seven pieces of advice (from an amateur to other amateurs) that we're constantly told to follow but are only really good for the select few players who crush the game.

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1. Online Is More Profitable
For the competent pro there is no doubt that this is true but this only holds true for the competent pro who multi-tables and who plays many hands online. Here's the news: the online game is getting tougher and the live games are much softer. All the serious geeky players sit on their butts in their living room making money while the social and fun players are out there in the casinos or poker clubs having fun. The latter place is by far the more likely place to make you the money, you just have to tolerate the slower hand rate.

2. Buy In For The Maximum
I agree with this but only if you feel you have the edge at the table. Pros buy in for the maximum all day long but in a tough online game, short-stacking can be an effective strategy that can really piss them off - but you must know what you're doing. There are terrible short-stackers out there who actually feel they can mix up their play to fool the pros!

3. Multi-table For More Profit
This is only true for the competent, serious player who has played so many hands that multi-tabling is second nature. If you are a casual or recreational player don't be sold by the idea that you should automatically multi-table for higher profits. Yes, it can be profitable but it only suits a certain type of player. You tend to start playing on auto-pilot mode soon enough and you don't really get to learn how the others are playing - unless you have tracking software of course.

4. Buy Straight Back In
Leave this one to the pros, especially if you've just been hit for what seems like a lot of money to you. Often, the reason you lost the buy-in was because you got outplayed in the first place so why jump straight back in to face the foe again? On the other side of the coin, you may have been the victim of a bad beat; are you still in the mood to play and can you still maintain your A game? The pros can get back into the game with a full buy-in within the blink of an eye; maybe you should buy back in when you're happier in yer skin.

5. Play Whenever You Want
Pros are often proud of the fact that they can play whenever they want. But this doesn't mean that any time is the right time. Let the serious players take the chunks out of each other in the mornings and afternoons. There are reasons that the bad players aren't around at these times and usually it's because they're either working in their proper jobs or are out there getting a life. Wait until the hours of between 7PM-2AM for the fish to come out to play.

6. Play Good Players For Practice
As you play poker you are going to identify and play against good players. There's ya practise. Sometimes you'll carry on and sometimes you'll leave. If the table has too many good players, you should leave - it's not rocket science. You play poker to win money and unless you're some sort of masochist who looks for decent players to play for fun, why the hell would you actively sit down in a game where you're likely to lose money? Can you really afford such an expensive lesson?

7. Make Sure You Have At Least 20 Buy-Ins In Your Bankroll
While the pros tell you to have at least 20 buy-ins they, meanwhile, have anywhere between 80 and 120 buy-ins!! If you want to play regularly online, then the 20 buy-in rule is just not enough. I won't go into the maths of it but I've said it before and I'll say it again: the pros have massive bankrolls to protect themselves - amateurs, generally, do not. Particularly if you are new but wanna take the game seriously, start at low stakes and take at least a few months to see how it all works for you.

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Ok, so if you are one of those dedicated players who crush the game then the above advice will be rubbish (or even laughable), but not everyone crushes the game - or even has the attributes to crush the game. There is nothing wrong with a little low-risk poker, taking it easy and just enjoying the game for what it is. (And this is how a lot of winning players go about their business as well.) As I say there are many ways to enjoy the game of poker. As someone who has been playing online poker for quite a few years and admits he may not be cut-out for the online game any longer - these are the bits of advice I would give to the casual player who likes to play for a bit of fun but who doesn't want to lose vast amounts of money in the process.

What They Sell You (Cynical Hat Firmly In Place)

The poker industry is struggling at the moment. The explosion created by Moneymaker's success back in 2003 is subsiding as players drop out of the race and realise that they can no longer compete in the battle of the survival of the fittest. Pros are not only finding that the games are getting tougher but are finding the search for food increasingly difficult. With black Friday hitting the...er... land of the...er... free(!) in mid-April and essentially wiping out the right to play online poker for millions of people, you have to say that the game is up against it.

In this post I'm gonna explore the divide between amateur players, the pros and the industries' desperate attempt to keep the food chain healthy for those at the very top. The main marketing drive behind the poker industry is, of course, selling the idea that you can be wealthy, rich and happy just by playing a game of cards. To generate this idea I've identified five techniques they use to convince us that our dreams can easily become a reality: 

1) Big-up the big name players
Although poker can be classed as a "game" rather than a "sport" the luck factor in poker exceeds virtually all other sports. The poker industry is desperate to sell the idea that there is far more skill than luck in the game than there really is. Actually it's true that if you work and study hard at the game you will reap the financial rewards in the long run. But only the pros have the time to devote themselves and to dedicate themselves long enough to be able to achieve that success. This is why, when big-name players win prestigious tournaments the industry is delighted - it's a vindication of the belief that with hard work and dedication the better players deservedly reap the rewards. (They are not so keen when the unknown or the so-called "fish" actually go on to win a big event - unless they are making the point that ANY IDIOT can go on and win huge sums at this game - which is true but only about 0.01% of the time.)

The focus, also, is on how much these "amazing" players have won. They neglect to mention, of course, not only of the hundreds and thousands of players who have failed to fulfil the dream, but of the hundreds and thousands of pounds that the winner has lost in the past before actually hitting the jackpot win.

2) Winners With Huge Wads
Regardless of who actually wins, magazines LOVE the huge wad pic. This is where the winner (nearly always encouraged to smile beforehand) is shown holding up the final winning hand or a trophy while surrounded with huge piles of cash. While looking at these who cannot but help thinking that "one day that will be me"? This type of pic really helps to feed the greed of both amateurs and pros alike.

3) Pretty Girls
Big-time poker is about the glitz and the glamour. (Ok, one poker magazine does have a home-game section featuring a more down-to-earth environment of peoples' living rooms but the photos are bad quality and are usually grainy and fuzzy and are of scruffy blokes with beer bellies swigging cans of lager. Oh, and it's tucked away near the back of the magazine as well, away from the "more important" stuff.) Magazines need the dolly birds and eye-candy to make the whole game seem more attractive - and if you are a successful, pretty, young female poker player then you are quids in baby!! 

4) Exotic Locales and Stories Of The Jet-Set Lifestyle.
Being successful at big-time poker means big-time rewards right? So, if it's not the glamour girls and the glitz and the huge wads of cash making the game more exciting, it's photos of the plush casinos of Vegas and Macau or photos suggesting what a wonderful life these high rollers live. Advertising is based on making the audience feel jealous of what the subject has along with making the audience feel they can attain that happiness if only they'd part with a little of their cash - you too could live the jet-set lifestyle if you do the simple thing of studying how to play a card game.

5)  "I-Am-Special-And-I-Am-Crushing" Type Interviews
Let's face it, the short-term big money score is made from the big MTTs. No one really cares about the humble cash game player who grinds away in a corner somewhere. (Actually, I use the word "humble" ironically here, the reason many cash game players have huge egos is precisely because they are ignored - but that's a different story.) Anyway, big-name players and big-win players get to do interviews and often, but sometimes through no fault of their own, are portrayed as being all-powerful crushing machines that are rolling in money and just cannot be stopped.

It all seems so easy and effortless but here's the thing: everyone is attempting to do the same thing. Winning a tournament does not really involve actually doing anything more special than any other half-decent player. We've all heard, read or watched what the strategy is and any well-informed player does pretty much the same thing in order to try and win the thing. As I said at the beginning in section 1, luck plays a much bigger role in poker than the industry wants us to believe and those "superstar" sponsored players have got to where they are because they got the lucky break at the right time - not because they are light years ahead of everybody else in the skill department.

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The point of this very cynical post, which may sound like sour-grapes to a few, is that all these marketing ploys help the successful pros more than anybody else. They have the edge because they really do work at the game and they put the volume in to even out their variance. But these predators need prey to feed off and all of the above helps to bring the next victim to the table. It also strokes the egos of the TV superstar players who are all part of this world and who are soaring high more from a sponsorship deal rather than through the financial rewards that a real study of the game brings.

So where does this leave the recreational/amateur player of which I am part? Well, I hate to say it but we are the fodder. Unless you can put some sort of time aside to study this game in order to give yourself a fighting chance, then you should get out now and refuse to feed the monster. Keep checking your results and if there is a significant dip or if the line is on a steady downward drop then you either need to really study the game properly to change that curve or you should quit and find another hobby. For the huge majority of the regular long-term players (probably over 99%) poker does not reward passengers.