To give you some idea of how I arrived here, I thought I'd just write about my early days in the poker world right up to the present. I'll try to keep it as concise as possible.
Now although short term loses can screw around with your mind, any serious poker player knows that it's a long term game; even a life-long business venture for some! Beginners don't grasp the significance of this and get angry and frustrated the moment things start going wrong or when they suffer a few bad beats in succession; like children who throw a strop because they've lost four coin tosses in a row!! I hate to admit it but this was my attitude when I first started.
PHASE ONE - I'm The Fish. (About 2003-2004)
Like many players, I started out by playing freerolls. For me it was on a site, now disbanded, called Bugsy's. I'd spend hours and hours staring at the screen for the sake of winning a few cents which I was never going to see anyway as I was still paranoid about security and sceptical about giving bank details to "shady" online poker sites. Anyway, I eventually drummed up the courage to send my card details to Party Poker and I decided to plonk down a small $100ish deposit. I mainly played their $2 - $10 MTTs but it was the usual story; I might spin it up a bit before getting severely wounded by the "injustice" of a loss or two and end up either blowing the lot or cashing out in frustration. I must have rinsed and repeated this process about 3 or 4 times. I also dabbled in SnGs and the odd cash game but I really didn't know what I was doing.
I gave up poker for a while but something called me back. I started reading up and noted the recurring qualities required in a player that experts go on about: the importance of patience, being tolerant of bad players and the thing about results going your way in the long run if you stick at it and keep your self-discipline. Well patience, tolerance and self-control was something I had (10 years in the teaching profession had taught me that) so surely I could restart the poker lark and put those qualities to good use right?
PHASE TWO - The Micros. (About 2005-2006)
I remember getting back into the fray and spreading my bankroll across 5 or 6 sites for the sake of variety. I poured my heart and soul into the $0.01/$0.02 and $0.02/$0.04 cash games. I think it was just limit games to start with and I certainly remember playing $0.01/$0.02 at Paradise Poker and Ultimate Bet for long periods. I kept meticulously detailed charts on how I got on, on a daily basis, and would be totally anal about the whole thing. Looking back, although 100% serious at the time, it was more like an experiment or a low risk strategy to test whether I had the right temperament to succeed at the game.
After about 3-4 months or so, I remember moving up to the $0.05/$0.10 game. This was a major big deal at the time and I remember waking up on the morning of the move with a buzz and an excited feeling - yet I was still nervous of whether I could, literally, take my game to the next level! I remember doing just fine and also playing the odd SnG and MTT but then I hit the inevitable downswing. Memories of my time at Party Poker came back but I refused, absolutely refused, to ever be down at online poker again. I cashed out all my money, took a break and then came back after being attracted to SnGs and the MTTs again.
PHASE THREE - Low Stakes SnGs & MTTs. (About 2007-2009)
This time, with more knowledge and confidence, over a period of about a year and a half I managed to chug along satisfactorily at the $5-$20 SnGs and MTTs on various sites. Like before, although the upswing was longer and more satisfying, profits inevitably started to dip and I started suffering from a steady long-term downswing. Similarly, as with the micros, I point blank refused to see myself as a loser at online poker and cashed out from all the sites in fear that I'd donk off the whole lot in a tilt induced frenzy. Regrettably, when tilt did get the better of me I'd blow a few $300-$600 bankrolls on blackjack!! Nasty. (I've cured myself of that disease now though thankfully.)
To tell the truth, although I won little during this period I read avidly about the game and really started to study the game hard. This is the phase where I got a sound poker education and I was a very keen student - even while I seemed to get continually kicked in the teeth. I know this may sound bizarre to some but I'd have days where I'd lose huge amounts yet still feel really pleased - even elated - because I recognised something inside of me was not bothered about losing - and that made me happy! At my PHASE ONE phase I would never have felt that emotion, it would just have come out as anger, frustration and intense annoyance. It's weird but you really can get a positive buzz from losing - it's quite a jolt, but it can be a very good jolt - and is great for the soul for sure! I'd say it was at this stage where I learnt to be much less results driven and much more focused on just playing my best game.
PHASE FOUR - Back To Cash Games and The Revelation. (About 2008-2010)
Disillusioned with MTTs and SnGs, I had a revelation sometime in the year 2009 and my game shot through the roof and took off like a rocket. I would ditch playing MTTs altogether (apart from taking the odd pop now and again) and seriously start studying the cash games. It occurred to me that players were so well clued in as to how to play SnGs and MTTs - and that they were so luck-based and restrictive anyway - that my time would be better served diving into the cash game. As Phil Laak once said, I started seeing MTTs as ever so slightly +ev glorified lotteries.
It soon transpired that my move was correct and I became aware that I need not fear players at the $25nl-$50nl games. Solid poker was all that was needed. I also became more in tune with how MTTs and cash games differ. One glaring difference, apart from the strategy level, is with variance. Cash game variance, although tough at times, is much more forgiving and not nearly as brutal and unpredictable as the variance in MTTs.
It soon transpired that my move was correct and I became aware that I need not fear players at the $25nl-$50nl games. Solid poker was all that was needed. I also became more in tune with how MTTs and cash games differ. One glaring difference, apart from the strategy level, is with variance. Cash game variance, although tough at times, is much more forgiving and not nearly as brutal and unpredictable as the variance in MTTs.
As 2010 approached, I vowed to be much more disciplined with bankroll management and tilt control as I started dipping my toes into the $100nl cash game. Interestingly, I felt I had very little to fear here as well and that the games played similarly to the $50nl games. Early 2010 was a confidence boost and because I felt I could tangle with the $100nl players my move onto the $200nl tables was very swift. My results at $200nl have been ok but you definitely have to be more awake and more on your guard at the $200nl game. The year 2010 saw me float around between the $100nl to the $200nl cash games. There are certainly some formidable opponents lurking in the waters of the $200nl game and the sharks are a ubiquitous presence at those tables but with careful table selection (part of the game most neglected by online players in my opinion) it IS possible to grab some morsels out of that pool.
Finally of the few MTTs I did play in 2010, my results in this department shot up. Mainly plumping for $30 MTTs in the summer of 2010 I managed to nab back to back final table finishes in PKR's Gold Member, $5K added MTT but also grabbed top prize at the final table of their "Phase" games as well which totally wiped out the downward spiral I had been suffering from previously at the SnG/MTT grind. Right up until the Autumn/Winter of 2010 this did wonders for my confidence but alas, the demons started visiting me at the cash game table towards the latter part of the year and this is when I decided to put the brakes on.
PHASE FIVE - Blogging it. (2011)
So with a full cashout completed a few weeks ago this brings me right up-to-date to PHASE FIVE. I take it you can see the recurring pattern with these "phases" of mine - if the downswings get severe and I get all messed up, I pull the plug and cashout my entire bankroll without further damage being done. How the pros can continue functioning with their A-game intact while spewing money left right and centre, yet needing the money to support themselves, is beyond me.
Hopefully, things won't get so disastrous that I have to do a full cashout anytime soon when I start the ball rolling in January. It's obviously a mystery how things are going to pan out and my profit/loss line could drop like a lead balloon but whatever happens I intend to keep things honest and, above all, interesting to read. I don't want to be one of those "sing when you're winning players," who chirp away like over-excited canaries when they hit the good times but who disappear without trace when results don't go their way.
Similarly, I like to think that players would enjoy reading my blog precisely because I'm NOT a successful professional poker player or a sponsored pro who sits on a mountain of money and can't really lose. I want the ordinary, average poker player, who likewise has a passion for the game, to identify with what I'm going through - through good times or bad and in sickness and in health - and, hopefully, strike the right chord.
Similarly, I like to think that players would enjoy reading my blog precisely because I'm NOT a successful professional poker player or a sponsored pro who sits on a mountain of money and can't really lose. I want the ordinary, average poker player, who likewise has a passion for the game, to identify with what I'm going through - through good times or bad and in sickness and in health - and, hopefully, strike the right chord.
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